A Night In The Life Of Lisa

Last night I spent the evening with my dearest friend Lisa. I have often thought of myself as having obsessive tendencies. I like to have my towels folded a certain way and pointed the same direction. I group my soups and canned veggies with like cans. I realize I am actually quite tame in comparisson after a night with Lisa. Lisa has opened my eyes!


Before I begin, let me take this opportunity to add a disclaimer. I obtained permission from the alleged obsessor herself prior to posting.

1. The lint brushes- I have a lint brush. I use it sometimes when I'm wearing a sweater, heading to church and I'm taking care of a few last minute details. My husband uses it to remove dog hair from his uniforms on his way out the door. I have had the same lintbrush since we moved into the house in October. Lisa lint brushes her headboard and pillows with a swiftness like none I have seen before. When she ran out of tape... it was okay... she had a SIX-PACK of lint brushes in reserve. Some can go through a six-pack of beer in an evening of fun... Lisa... lint brushes. Is that impressive or what?


2. Swivel Sweeper patrol- For those who know Lisa, you are already aware of her sweeper habit. What I didn't know was that it ran much deeper than that. Not only does she have one swivel sweeper... she has 2 with back up charger packs and a "Shark" which truly lives up to its title because you can hear it coming.


3. Breakfast- Oh what to fix for breakfast? Well, we have no eggs. You certainly can't make bacon without eggs. How 'bout pancakes or waffles. No, again no eggs. I know, lets have twinkie sundaes!!!! It was just too late last night to have a sundae before bed because we had just returned from a Wal-mart shopping frenzy. You cannot deny a child's sundae... they earned it.
Every endevor is followed by clean-up time. This is intensive group time. No corner is left undone. No crumb left behind thanks to the handy dandy sweeper, the shark, and lint brushes. Time is of the utmost importance because we are always off the the next endeavor. I love Lisa! There is so much I can learn from her. I now realize that I have been doing it wrong all along.

I think Lisa may have missed her true calling in life "Lisa's Organize-your-life-so-you-have-time-to-do-everything" business. Of course, the first client would have to be me.

New Shoes!

Let me tell you what my son said tonight while catching up on American Idol! My husband and I were discussing a recent purchase I made (more like a permanent investment) over the weekend when Kelly Pickler walked onto the stage with what appeared to be a new set of (.)(.). Ryan Seacrest asked her what she has purchased since making it big. She said, "new shoes" not realizing that he was referencing her lovely cleavage. Robb in a meager attempt to speak in child-proof code said, "now that is a purchase I wouldn't have objected to". Sarah perked up and said," What purchase?" "Uh... new shoes," I replied. I'm feeling confident that the conversation was over their heads.
Later while folding clothes, I realized I hadn't really dodged that bullet after all. The conversation was now about what a wonderful role it is to be called the housewife and all the many responsibilities that go with such a title. I told Matthew that he and his father could just as easily adopt the role of housewife. My witty son chimed in......
"We can't do that, we'd have to buy NEW SHOES!"

My Ba...

That is what I call my grandfather, Ba. I was given the honor of naming him that when I was just a baby. Actually, what I used to call him was Binga Ba but dropped it as I got older. He was the man who would save me from my mothers pigtails that were so tight they would pull my eyes. He was the man who gave me $500.00 to buy my brothers car when I didn't have $5.00 to my name. He is the same man who went to a loan shark to borrow money to buy bullet proof vests for my dad and uncle when the police department wouldn't issue them. He would make sure my parents always had groceries in the house when I was little. Those are the good memories I have about Ba. There were many not so great memories about him too. Fortunately, they didn't involve me most of the time. He was the reason my grandmother and aunt moved in with us when I was 10. He spent most of his life alienating everyone in my family because of alcoholism. It was a blessing the day he outright quit. I think I was in my late teens.
I am writing about my Ba because it seems things have taken a turn for the worse. Last week they were able to extubate him but within 24 hours it became too difficult for him. They put a trach in him and since then he has gotten worse and worse. He has an infection that has caused his kidneys to begin to fail. They started dialysis tonight and they want to have a family meeting tomorrow afternoon to discuss withdrawing any further efforts. Chemotherapy is no longer an option. At this point, the options have run out.
It is so hard to watch someone leaving this world and not know where there heart is or what they are feeling or thinking. Does he have Jesus in his life? Can he hear us? Is he in pain? It is such a helpless feeling. Did you know I have only been to the hospital once since the surgery? He knew I was there. He could say my name. I told him I loved him. I think I told him goodbye in my mind because I can't bring myself to go back there and see him. I can't stand to see someone I love fade away and I'm a nurse. Is that crazy? I deal with death and dying every day. I console families. I pray with them. I know the dying process and I can't even bring myself to the hospital to see my grandfather and hold his hand and tell him all the things that I can tell a stranger in my ER.
I am writing to tell everyone about my grandfather... my Ba. Please pray for him and for my Aunt Stacy who is taking on so much lately. She has been his lifeline while dealing with so much in her own household.
Thank you to anyone who is willing to listen to me. It is so therapeutic to be able to write what is so hard to say sometimes. I feel like I have many shoulders to cry on. I love you all!

Freeze tag!

I love a good game but am a blog amateur. I only know a couple of fellow bloggers so it will have to stop with me.

1. I apparently snore (oh wait... that was already revealed)

2. I sang at the Kennedy Center twice.

3. I am a firefighter (although, the only thing I learned from that is the rodents have it right by running out of a burning building).

4. I delivered my friends baby in her hallway floor.

5. My mother nailed my bedroom windows shut when I was 14.

6. I was pulled on stage by Chubby Checker at a concert in Ocean City because he liked the way I 'twisted'.

I have no idea how I am going to think of 5 more things about myself before Mommapalooza... I've lived such a sheltered life!

Quick Update

Just a quick note about my Grandfather. He is still intubated and in the ICU. The doctors have taken him off 2 of the 3 meds. to keep his blood pressure up. He is not getting any sedation and even smiled yesterday. He is completely cognitive and once they get the fluid levels down in his body should be able to start weaning him from the ventilator. The doctors are amazed at how quickly he turned around. I guess they don't know what a stubborn old man he is. Just wait 'til they get that tube out of his airway!

I have to get back to work... got lives to save (LOL).

My Dysfunctionally Functional Family

Welcome to my blog! I'm Jhonni. I live in Welcome, hence the title 'Welcome home'. I am the mother of 2 beautiful children who I refer to as "the troops". Matthew is 10 and Sarah is 8 going on 18. I've been married for 11 years.
I like to think of myself as a terrible writer so it is an incredible stretch for me to even attempt blogging. Perhaps in the future I will improve at least in my minds eye. My hubby is the more articulate person in our family. He also has a great recall mem0ry... me... not so much. This makes for some pretty one-sided arguments.
I live next door to my mother. I could probably spend an entire day talking about her. Her nickname is "Top Dawg" or "Top Sergeant" because she is a very aggressive woman. She is a police officer and has the personality to back it up. She is fun to watch because she likes to act before she thinks and I can tell you she has a very creative mind. She loves to start projects without an actual solution. She is sort of a "by-the-britches" figure it out as she goes along type.
Once, she woke up and decided that she wanted a country kitchen. My father woke to the sound of my mother and a sledgehammer (bad combo) taking out the wall separating the kitchen and diningroom. He walked into the kitchen and found my mom and what appeared to be the aftermath of a small explosion (loose wires, large hole, debris, etc.) complete with flying dust. "Uh Ronna... what are you planning to do with all those live wires?" My mom could only reply,"I'm not sure." With that, my dad quietly walked out of the room.
My dad is, however, her polar opposite. He too was a police officer but they called him a teddy bear. He is always trying to make people laugh, cuddly, kind, and very logical. Not one for confrontations or really anything that can't fix itself quickly. They really balance one another very well. I hope I've been able to take a good combination of my parents. My hubby feels I've inherited a few too many of my mom's 'gifts'.

Jhonni's First

Welcome to blogging, Sweeetie!